Monday, May 3, 2010

Family Cooties

My daddy turned 18 last Saturday. 

Well, that's what he told ME when I asked how old he was. Eighteen, dad? Did you invent time travel in delusion land?

He sat there grinning and said, "Just hold it up to a mirror." Great. My dad thinks he is Leonardo da Vinci now. Yeah, that makes me 25 again~! Which, when you think about it, still makes me older than he is. Stupid mirror. No wonder Alice had a heck of a time in wonderland. 

We were in Old Town San Diego for his birthday at Cafe Coyote. A HUGE Mexican restaurant. My sister and her boys were there, my brother, his wife and sons were there, my baby brother and JuJuBeez, my daughter and Mr. Guitar Player, and, of course, my mom. My parents have been married for 53 years and they crack me up. 

My brother took all the boys to the haunted Whaley House and cemetery and all the other girls went shopping. It was an absolutely beautiful day in San Diego and there were lots of people walking and shopping and browsing. Because my dad's lungs are shot and he has a hard time with his git up and go, we sat in the bar. Large windows were open and you could watch everyone walk by or watch TV. 

We ordered drinks. My mom ordered a coke because I think in her entire life she has had maybe ten drinks. My dad gets a beer and, of course, I order Jack and diet. My mom's soda turns out to be a small Olympic swimming pool. Bubbly carbonated dog paddle heaven. 

I whined for guacamole which turned out to be delicious. Okay, I try not to double dip. My mom is Ms. Fastidious and I have friends who are champion germaphobes, so I was being good. Honest. My dad is using his fork to load up his chips with guacamole. I have been watching though and he never put the fork in his mouth. It was just a convenient shovel for guac goodness. My mom sees him put the fork in the guacamole and has a cow. 

"Don't put your fork in there! You have cooties."

He looks at her with a slightly owlish expression. I can see his brain churning out just the perfect response to make her go crazy.

"But, Rosie, these are FAMILY cooties, so they don't count." 

I wish I could convey the sound my mom makes when someone says something she considers ridiculous or makes an argument she can't refute. We all do it to tease her because it is so uniquely hers. Usually she says it to the kids, "Ack, mijo." But the ack is not really an ack. Okay, just put a slight accent on it and you've got it. 

She acks his argument and won't touch the guacamole which suits me just fine. Until Teddy Bear shows up and then proceeds to demolish the rest of the dip. Dang. She is grandpa's favorite. Totally not fair. She can do no wrong in his eyes which is one reason he is a wonderful grandpa.

So, Happy Birthday, Dad~! I love you.

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Simply Suthern said...

I had to explain double dipping to my 7 yr old. Again and again.

Happy Bday to dad.

I so love me some guac!!

Happy Hour...Somewhere said...

I was an embarrassingly old age before I knew what it was. Who knew? Double dipping with 3 brothers was normal. Maybe that's why I don't get sick now though. I know. Gross,huh? But they were FAMILY cooties!

ethelmaepotter! said...

Family cooties. I have now heard everything.

I think double dipping wasn't even considered until it was mentioned one time on Seinfeld. EVERYBODY shared cooties, family and not, until then!

Happy 18th to your dad!

Happy Hour...Somewhere said...

Ethelmaepotter...HAHAHA! The first time I heard the term I had to ask what the heck that was and I know for years I thought people who got all icky about double dipping were kinda strange. Didn't they have siblings? I was lucky my mom made my brothers wash before dinner~! dad enjoyed his 18th birthday!

Karen Carter said...

I love your Daddy and we have never met! Sounds like an amazing time!
And I am indeed a germaphob but moms right Family cooties dont count! Glad you "kids" had fun! Love from "74" wait??? thats not fair!!

Happy Hour...Somewhere said...

Karen...My wonderful germaphobe friend~! Hee, hee. Now, if Ms Chocolate Lover makes a comment, then that would complete the set! Poor, Karen...74. I told you that stupid mirror was warped~!

Confessions of a Closet Hoarder but you can call me Judy said...

Love the way your dad put family cooties into words. Too funny! :)

Happy Hour...Somewhere said...

Judy...You know, I really need to keep a journal out when I am with my folks...they say the darndest things and I never remember them hen I get home!

Early Light said...

Wish your father a happy birthday from me, please. All the best to the whole family. It sounds really nice. As Homer Simpson might say: "Mmmm... guacamole!"

Unknown said...

I love your mom's ack! I wish we hadn't been late, as always, I would have partaken in some of that guac.

Yep, a great time was had by all! I want to go to the Whaley House! Let's go when I can afford it.

Happy 18th Al!

Happy Hour...Somewhere said...

Early Light...Thanks for my dad's birthday wishes. Yes, I bet Homer would totally dip his donuts in he guacamole~! You have a most interesting blog...not sure exactly what it all means but I will be reading your archive.

Red...We need to do the Haunted House Tour again. Does Face still have the pictures of the dining room with the ghost in it? And, I wish I could remember all the funny things that happened Saturday at the baby shower~!

Coffeypot said...

Happy Birthday a little late, Dad.

I'll be in SD in Septembet for my Navy Reunion and I'm gonna check out the Whaley House.

Happy Hour...Somewhere said...

Coffeypot...Enjoy your reunion~! Old Town San Diego can be so nice. I especially like it just as it is getting dark...not too hot and the stores and restaurants light up and there is almost always something going on. But then, you will be having a great time I'm sure. Enjoy the Gas Lamp District, too!

English Rider said...

If you are looking for an excuse to be squeemish, analyze kissing. Next to that double dipping means nothing. Get over yourselves, everyone. I read a great story written by a woman who was so poor that they shared dental floss, after eating corn on the cob. Enjoy the image. (Great post by the way)

Jai Joshi said...

You're dad sounds like the coolest guy! I'm convinced he's 18 and you were born older than him due to a time travel paradox.


Happy Hour...Somewhere said...

English Rider...You reminded me that as kids we used to call kissing "swapping spit" so you definitely have a point~! I am so not like my squeamish mom and friends...sometimes it is hard to go out with them and remember to be "good." Nothing like making your friends do a hardy internal "eeewwwwwwwwwwwww."

And I can only hope the poor woman who had to share dental floss got to at least rinse it off...not sure I want someone's left over hamburger blobbing on the floss while I try to use it. HAHAHA. I know, I know, "eewwwwwwwww."

Jai...Sometimes I am convinced that has to be the case...we are time traveling like Dr Who. We alternate who is older! Your last post about being paranoid was SIL would love it.

Early Light said...

Thanks, Happy Hour.

Your blog looks like a lot of fun, and since I don't permit fun at my blog, I have decided to link to you under the new category "Off Topic".

Of course, if you have a better idea, I'm all ears. :)

Happy Hour...Somewhere said...

Early Light...No fun permitted? *sigh* I do so love to laugh. But I like the idea of being "off topic," so that's good.

I actually started this blog thinking I would rant and rave on politics, finances, etc. My friends told me I was boring, so I stopped and I don't want anyone mad at me! It is nice to visit other blogs with distinct points of view, especially when they are of a point of view that is different than mine. I have made comments on other blogs (always civil) and the blogger would not post them because they were of a different opinion. Why start a blog then?

See, there I go ranting and raving. I can see my friend yawning already~!

The Good Cook said...

happy birthday to your dad and dang, I'm older than him too, even with the mirror logic. Come to think of it, I'm older than MY dad.

Double dipping isn't really double dipping when it's family members.

matron said...

Your mum sounds like my mum and your lovely dad sounds like my husband.When we have the family round we share finger food and dips,what is wrong with a few "cooties" between family.
As for guacamole,I was introduced to this 17ys ago when I first went to LA for the birth of my granddaughter,and I have been hooked on it ever since,if you have a recipe for it please put it on your blog,I have never had the REAL THING outside of America.

funderson said...

I totally agree with your pop... Sheesh! someone give this poor woman a guac recipe. When I'm lazy I'll just smoosh up an avocado w/ some salt and lemon juice...yum

Phoenix said...

LOL cheers to dysfunctional family hi-jinks. Love it.

(PS if I'd been anywhere NEAR that guac it would've been gone in about 60 seconds!)

Happy Hour...Somewhere said...

The Good Cook...I like the way you put that...mirror logic! I am so glad to know I'm not the only one out there who think double dipping with family is not double dipping!

Matron...I wish I had a good recipe for guacamole. I like to try it at every restaurant we go to because they all make it so differently. I like it slightly chunky and very savory. I am not into bland food~! But being as San Diego is right there on the border, you tend to get the good stuff!

Funderson...Lots of salt, yes~! And not too smooshed up. Yum is right.

Phoenix...My gosh, my family was on a roll this weekend. I have been trying to write a post about that, too. I guess we would battle over the guac...may the fastest chip win~!

Early Light said...


As far as comments go, I want people to verify what I claim to be facts, and I want people to challenge my interpretation of the evidence. That is how progress is made.

Deleting civil comments just because one disagrees with them is stupid, in exactly the same way communism is stupid (and for the same reason). Don't give up on blogging about politics, but rather, give up commenting on and perhaps even reading the work of such bloggers.

It is not my impression that your writing style is boring, so maybe the flaw was not with your blogging, but with your friends.

Having said that, my identity as "Early Light" is distinct from other identities. This is important, because when one starts commenting on ties between certain politicians and certain foreign organized crime cartels, it is reasonable people may come looking for that person's real identity. A cat has nine lives, but a blogger can have many more lives, if that blogger knows how to preserve the first life. So "Early Light" has no friends. ;)

Start a new blog completely separate from this one with no clues as to your identity, and develop a new set of friends for political and financial blogging. Then, damn the torpedoes and full speed ahead.

I, for one, would be interested in reading your rants and raves.

I question both the sanity and the honesty of anyone who doesn't feel like ranting and raving given our current situation in the US and in the world.

In fact, as a student of history, I question the sanity and honesty of anyone from any era who doesn't feel like ranting and raving.

I put it to you that, while this blog may be your passion, a blog on politics is your civic duty. Others have paid the ultimate price so that you would have the freedom to question your government. Are you going to allow yawning or laughter to silence you until that freedom is taken away? Others have been willing to die for this country; are you willing to live for this country?

Nezzy (Cow Patty Surprise) said...

Happy, happy birthday to your sweet daddy. He and your mom sound most entertaining. I'm so glad you got to celebrate this time with him.

Now ya'll got me hankerin' some good guac!

You have yourself a wonderful Wednesday sweetie!!!

kden said...

Your family sounds like a lot of fun. Not like mine; all tense and waiting for someone to start a fight. Want to adopt me?

Bill Lisleman said...

that mirror trick is only good if the second digit is less than 5.

Been to San Diego a few times but never heard of the Whaley house.

First time to your blog - I like your sense of humor. We should all lighten up.

Mrs4444 said...

Your parents sound sweet. After all those years, their even talking to each other is nice, haha.

Aunt Juicebox said...

Sigh. I'm pretty funny about cooties too. Especially where food is involved. Can't help it. ;P Happy bday to your dad!

@eloh said...

Sounds like you had a good time...

A Cuban In London said...

And Happy Birthday from me too! And if you want to be 18 again, don't let your daughter tell you anything different. :-)

Great post.

Greetings from London.

Tgoette said...

Loved this! I am in agreement with your dad. Family cooties are a good thing. I even extend the "family" part of it to include the family pets. I wonder what your mom would say about that? LOL!

Laura said...

Loved this post! It's been way too long since I've stopped by Happy Hour.

I became a very defensive eater because you never know who was around to finish your food if you weren't fast enough.

Laura said...

Loved this post! It's been way too long since I've stopped by Happy Hour.

I became a very defensive eater because you never know who was around to finish your food if you weren't fast enough.

Eve said...

Mmmm... guacamole sounds wonderful... maybe with a margarita. ;)

Happy birthday to your dad! It sounds like a fun evening our with your family.

Imola said...

Well, at least now he can drink in a that he's 18 again (for I suppose that he had been a minor for some time now :)) )!

What more can I say? He seem amazing! A long and happy life, he is still very, very young!

notesfromnadir said...

I just discovered your blog & I'm glad I did!

Happy Birthday to your dad & I was reminded of that George Burns movie, 18 Again!

I like how he said those are family cooties. He's right!

SmitoniusAndSonata said...

Quite right too ! Mind you , by the time I'm 18 again , I hope I'll be immune to all things Ack !

@eloh said...


Nezzy (Cow Patty Surprise) said...

Howdy girl, I was just droppin' by to see what ya'll have been up to. I hope your having an excellent summer!

God bless and enjoy!!!

Melanie said...

I am really bad about double dipping because I always figure if I'm sharing a dish with someone, then chances are good that I am whispering a secret close to them or maybe sharing a glass of wine too, so what's a bit of spit between friends?

I love me some ghosts! Ghost Hunters are my favorite! That pic he caught was pretty darn good, although I thought a couple of the orbs had some potential as well.

Nezzy (Cow Patty Surprise) said...

I was just poppin' in to see if ya were up and goin' again!

God bless ya!!!

thiakaren said...

Ok really MAY??? And you get 42 comments on a post! Get busy you have fans! I am happy if I get one or two comments. You need to blog missy. I miss it!

Confessions of a Closet Hoarder but you can call me Judy said...

Popping in to see how you're doing. It's been a few months since you've written anything, so I am really hoping it's because you're out and about and enjoying life!

Hope to see you blogging again soon!

@eloh said...

What the H is going on here?
I miss you!

Nezzy (Cow Patty Surprise) said...

Sweetie, I was just thinkin' of ya this morning and wanted to see how you are doin'.

I hope your havin' the best year ever!!!

God bless :o)

Funny in My Mind said...

Love it!!!
My sister Mel and I love us some ghosts!
I saw the face right away along with other faces in the top left.
your daddy sounds like a great guy to hang out with! 18 again.

Nezzy (Cow Patty Surprise) said...

'Don't know if your still checkin' these or not but I just wanted to wish you and your family a very blessed and beautiful Thanksgiving sweetie!!!

Have a great day!!!!