Bigot

This is the first part of a You Tube video of Ryan Moats being pulled over by a Dallas cop. You really should watch the entire video though to get a feel for what happens. A better version is on the Dallas Morning News paper.

Yahoo News has an article today on Elwin Hope Wilson, a racist nasty bigot who has repented and is seeking forgiveness for his past. His story is amazing for the people whose lives he affected, one of whom is Congressman John Lewis of Atlanta. Picture every caricature Hollywood has ever made of a white Southern bigot filled with hate and apparently Elwin Wilson would have fit the bill. He is now 72 years old with diabetes and in ill health and does not want to go to hell and is seeking forgiveness for his past sins.

It is not up to me or anyone else except the people who he hurt to offer that forgiveness. Many of them have. Many have questioned his reasons. Is it only fear that motivates the man? Does an eternity in hell terrify him so that he is trying to find a way into heaven? Does being a racist keep you out of heaven? Or is it the hate that keeps you out of heaven? It is amazing what fear will motivate people to do. The consequences of some actions, as all parents can attest to, can be a great motivator to better behavior. Doesn't mean you don't want to do the bad thing but that the cost of doing the bad thing is too high.

I love to drive fast. I want to drive 90 mph down Rancho California Road or Butterfield Stage Road here in Temecula all the time. There are a lot of reasons why I do not. I know Officer Nelson would track me down and give me a ticket and probably haul my ass to jail for driving recklessly. (The man loves to give me tickets for doing the California Rolling Stop. Go figure.) I don't want to go to jail, I don't want to pay the ticket, I don't want to have my insurance premiums skyrocket...and I know how incredibly fucking stupid it is. The speed limit now on Butterfield is 55 mph with very few stops signs. I love it. But I absolutely come uncorked when some bozo in front of me goes 54 mph. Do they not see the damn speed limit? And god forbid they go 50 or 45 mph. I know most people assume the speed limit is 45 but it is not. I get so mad I want to become Inspector Gadget, grow my go, go gadget arms, reach into their car, rip off the damn hat they are wearing (stupid drivers always seem to wear hats or beanies), and wring their bloody necks.

But I behave because I cannot imagine driving on a street where anyone can go any speed they choose. Grandpa Joe would drive 35 and this speed demon would go 90 and that is a horrible accident waiting to happen. I KNOW it is unsafe and irrational and I obey the speed limits laws for those reasons, too. It is the rational thing to do.

If you believe in heaven and hell, then I guess it would be rational to try to get into heaven. Hell does not sound like too much fun. But does being a racist keep you out of heaven? My dad is a first-generation American whose parents were from Mexico. Growing up with him, he used every racist term for other people there was. He grew up in a small mining town in Arizona where the local golf course was for whites only, Mexicans were taught they were good for certain jobs only. I understand his anger but it was an embarrassment to me growing up. Martin Luther King was preaching tolerance at that time. The content of one's character is what mattered which resonated with me. Pigment is skin deep, it does not define who you are. Yes, people react to the pigment which has always seemed so stupid to me. Because my skin is brown, what? What does that say about me? But after a lifetime of your pigment defining how OTHER people think of you, I guess it can shape and define your character. But my dad was generous with everyone of every color and invited everyone into his home.

Everyone of every color is racist in some way. George Lopez is a Mexican racist. Maybe. His portrayal of whites is embarrassing to watch but I laugh like hell when he tells stories about being Mexican, so I guess I should stop thinking of it as being racist. He makes Mexicans sound as stupid and as smart as anyone else. Does it matter what's in his heart? Is it only actions that matter? Does only God judge motives? Is it only God who should know what's in your heart?

I think being a bigot is a whole different ballgame. Bigots frighten me. My daughter had a friend who dated a skinhead for a long time. Long enough for me to not like her anymore. I used to tell my daughter, who looks like a little white girl (her dad is blonde and blue eyed and she has reddish brown hair and gray eyes) what this skinhead would do if he knew she was half Mexican? She told me she really did not care. I had to remind her that I did not care what he SAID, I cared what he DID. Apparently Fallbrook, close to Temecula, has a large population of white supremacists and I always worry when they go to bonfires out in the sticks. She has friends of every race and they all go out there together and I worry. The skinheads have been dormant for a long time out here, so maybe they all moved.

I think Elwin Wilson was a bigot. A scary horrible bigot, willing to inflict violence and harm, and did not mind doing so. When asked why he did those things, why he hated blacks so, he has no answer. He did not grow up he says with parents who taught him those things. So where did it come from?

I think perhaps he needs to figure that one out first.

Speedway to Rod Run in Temecula

The Rod Run is going on in Temecula this weekend. It is a little overcast today but no rain in the forecast. One of the comments on my Vroom Vrooooomm post made me start thinking about my first car, my 1965 Ford Mustang and my love of muscle cars, any car that hauls ass. My Mustang was a blue green color, no air conditioning, roll up windows, but I loved it. Unfortunately, it was only a 6 cylinder, so it did not have the speed I liked, which was probably a good thing when I think about it. My ex for a while owned a Camaro, electric blue with a vinyl top that had 8 cylinders and loved to go fast~!

I am embarrassed and ashamed to admit how often I would race down Saticoy Avenue in that car on my way home from work. I loved it when guys would pull up in their cars and they would think they would beat me off the line. Ha! Fat chance. I would try to look prim and proper like I would never race, but I would have one foot on the brake and the other itching to hit that accelerator. The light would turn green and I would take off! I loved it when they would try to catch up with me because I had no problem driving aggressively and squeezing in and out of traffic.

My next car was a 1979 Ford Mustang with an 8-cylinder, but my first love is still that 1965 Mustang. My ex's friends were all into their cars and fixing them and some of them even raced. One friend was a Rolls Royce mechanic but he loved to fix up his cars and race at the track. To this day, hearing an engine growl just brings me back to my teenage years.

I still drive too fast and aggressively, just ask Casey. She holds her breath and prays when she drives with me. I think she might even stomp on her imaginary brake pedal. Driving shotgun with me is not her cup of tea. HAHAHA.

I would love to drive all the cars in this video. They look like alien vehicles from planet Car. If I were to ever win a bunch of money, after being practical and commonsensical, you had better believe I would try to find one of these cars to buy. Do you think they ever come up on Craigslist?

View

I never thought much of living in a house with a view until I moved to the Meadowview area of Temecula in 1996. What's the big deal? I used to feel like Clark Griswold in "Vacation" when he is looking at the Grand Canyon impatiently waiting for his family to ooh and ah and then he wants to go.

We bought at the bottom of the last housing disaster and got a home with a view that I so miss. We bought it for $235,000 and sold it in 2007 . It looked exactly like the homes you see in Williamsburg, the white houses with black shutters. It was 3300 square feet and one of the saddest days of my life was moving out of that home.

The view was combination of meadow and city lights. It was so quiet you could forget you were only a few minutes from the mall and the freeway. There is white rail fencing all over Meadowview (it is horse country) and one section of the fence used to have these tiny burrowing owls. They were so adorable. One would sit on the fence and one would be in the little burrow. There also used to be turkey vultures. I remember the first time I saw one spreading his wings to dry them off after a rain. I almost crashed because he was sitting on the peak of one of the homes that overlooked the meadow. He had his wings completely spread out. It was like the condor exhibit at the zoo, you know where you stand with your arms spread out seeing how your "wing span" compared. They were the ugliest birds but I loved them. For some reason they left and the crows came. Nasty birds. I loved the small gray birds that would fly after them and peck them and harass the heck out of those pesky cawing scavengers.

I hunted for a rental to live in. It was so hard to look at rental homes all jammed together, everybody looking the same. All your backyard fences backed up to other backyard fences. The neighbors next door can look down from their second story balcony right into your yard. Beggars can't be choosers as the saying goes until I found this current house. I live on a corner so I only have one neighbor on one side and they keep to themselves and are nice people, there is no one behind me. Directly across the street are the backs of homes from the next street up, so no neighbors there really. And on the other corner is an elementary school. I love it. The moms drop off and pick up twice a day and are gone usually within 15 minutes. No hanging around, no after school activities.

So this is the view I have now out my back windows. No city lights but it is green and quiet. You can hear the coyotes hunting and we had a bobcat or mountain lion (nobody was sure) at the school across the street one day. Mmmm, that is a story for another post because it was a comedy of errors every way you sliced it.

I am going house hunting in the new few months (assuming I still have work) and I pray that I can find one in my price range with a view. I think we are headed for the bottom of the housing market in the next year here or so (another wave of foreclosures is in front of us) and maybe I can find something special.

Happy First Birthday Z~!

My incredible, darling, zany grandson turned ONE today~! You could not have ordered a more beautiful day in Temecula. Bright blue skies, perfect temperature, and lots of family and friends.

I got to see friends of my daughters that I have not seen in a long time. It is hard for me to believe that they are turning 25 this year. They are so young and so fun to be around. I have such memories of the girls dressing for prom, sleep overs, dinners, and parties. It is so hard when you are in the moment to stop and realize how quickly it goes. My brothers, my two incredible sister-in-laws, and my nephews came up from San Diego to help celebrate. Little Z was an angel and only one had one melt down all day. He has LOTS of aunts and uncles and cousins and a cousin to be
in May, so he was easily distracted.

I look at these pictures and I can still see his mom at 1. I think they even had the same amount of hair at this age. I can still see her chubby cheeks, we even called her "Chubby Cheekers." I just want to go back and kiss and hug that little face.

One year! Grandchildren are the best and I can't wait for all my friends to become grandmas and grandpas so we can have a bragging war. Of course, I win by default. So, bring on the Brag Books.

Wish

To see a world in a grain of sand
And a heaven in a wild flower,
Hold infinity in the palm of your hand
And eternity in an hour.
William Blake "Auguries of Innocence"

I have always wished that there was a way to travel in space with just your mind but still feel as if you were flying and could see all that there was to see. To fly through the rings of Saturn, travel through our own galaxy and on to the next, find a wormhole, "see" a black hole, see a star exploding.

I have wished that I could understand physics and astronomy and understand the magic behind the universe. I read books on science written by science writers for the lay person and come away wishing I could have a do-over in my life and start again. Go to school to study this, but perhaps more from the philosophical side of things. It is fascinating to think that the study of the very smallest of particles in the universe could help us understand the biggest.

Living here in Temecula, which I love, I sometimes kid that I live in a bubble. The rest of the world is out there, somewhere, I guess, but I wish it would stop trying to so aggressively intrude on my little city. Doesn't that seem contradictory though? I guess that is a good reason to travel. To physically move beyond your own small piece of this earth and visit another. When it takes 11 hours of flight time to get to Rome, when you fly over the United States, over Canada, across the Atlantic and then swoop down to Italy, you realize how big the earth is. How very small you are and how small your own little bubble is. Then you click on a video like above--and please do--it is almost awe inspiring.

If wishes were stars, that would be heaven.

Hot Air Balloon in Temecula~!

This morning when my daughter left for work, she came running back in to tell me there was a hot air balloon right outside our house. Sure. So I went outside to take a peek and there it was~! You could see the people in the basket and the chase truck was racing down the street to follow it. I went running back in the house to find my camera and take pictures. Now, I am in my pajamas and the people could see me. I am sure they thought it was quite funny. They were only about 3-4 houses down the street from me. I would have gotten more pictures but I had already embarrassed myself by acting like such a geek to get pictures.

What a beautiful day to go up in a hot air balloon~! I hope they were enjoying some good Temecula wine.