Family Cooties

My daddy turned 18 last Saturday. 

Well, that's what he told ME when I asked how old he was. Eighteen, dad? Did you invent time travel in delusion land?

He sat there grinning and said, "Just hold it up to a mirror." Great. My dad thinks he is Leonardo da Vinci now. Yeah, that makes me 25 again~! Which, when you think about it, still makes me older than he is. Stupid mirror. No wonder Alice had a heck of a time in wonderland. 

We were in Old Town San Diego for his birthday at Cafe Coyote. A HUGE Mexican restaurant. My sister and her boys were there, my brother, his wife and sons were there, my baby brother and JuJuBeez, my daughter and Mr. Guitar Player, and, of course, my mom. My parents have been married for 53 years and they crack me up. 

My brother took all the boys to the haunted Whaley House and cemetery and all the other girls went shopping. It was an absolutely beautiful day in San Diego and there were lots of people walking and shopping and browsing. Because my dad's lungs are shot and he has a hard time with his git up and go, we sat in the bar. Large windows were open and you could watch everyone walk by or watch TV. 



We ordered drinks. My mom ordered a coke because I think in her entire life she has had maybe ten drinks. My dad gets a beer and, of course, I order Jack and diet. My mom's soda turns out to be a small Olympic swimming pool. Bubbly carbonated dog paddle heaven. 

I whined for guacamole which turned out to be delicious. Okay, I try not to double dip. My mom is Ms. Fastidious and I have friends who are champion germaphobes, so I was being good. Honest. My dad is using his fork to load up his chips with guacamole. I have been watching though and he never put the fork in his mouth. It was just a convenient shovel for guac goodness. My mom sees him put the fork in the guacamole and has a cow. 

"Don't put your fork in there! You have cooties."

He looks at her with a slightly owlish expression. I can see his brain churning out just the perfect response to make her go crazy.

"But, Rosie, these are FAMILY cooties, so they don't count." 

I wish I could convey the sound my mom makes when someone says something she considers ridiculous or makes an argument she can't refute. We all do it to tease her because it is so uniquely hers. Usually she says it to the kids, "Ack, mijo." But the ack is not really an ack. Okay, just put a slight accent on it and you've got it. 

She acks his argument and won't touch the guacamole which suits me just fine. Until Teddy Bear shows up and then proceeds to demolish the rest of the dip. Dang. She is grandpa's favorite. Totally not fair. She can do no wrong in his eyes which is one reason he is a wonderful grandpa.


So, Happy Birthday, Dad~! I love you.