This Bunny Laid an Egg

The damn Easter Bunny has given my daugher a life-long fear of characters. She is 19 years old now and still will not go near a character. Mickey gives her hysterics, Pooh lives up to his name, and Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum cause fits.

When she was about 18 months old, I took her and her older sister, the Hot Tamale, to Sam's Club to do some shopping. She was happily riding in the cart and her older sister walked next to her. (They are about 5-1/2 years apart.) I had to go to the service counter for some reason I cannot for the life of me remember.

Teddy was standing in the cart next to me but I had my back to her. Her sister told me later what happened. All I heard was a blood curdling scream and turned around in time to see a 6 foot bunny rabbit jump back and rip his head off hyperventilating. (His character head. Although I did want to rip off his real one.) Dumb bunny.

Hot Tamale told me he was creeping up on us with his balloons in hand. I guess he thought it would be fun to sneak up on Teddy Bear and surprise her. Well, he certainly did that. She literally screamed like someone had pulled her head off. How does that much volume come out of something that little? She probably weighed all of 20 pounds. (She has always been a little thing with messy reddish hair.)

The Hot Tamale happily kicked him in the shins for scaring her little sister. It was not a pleasant sight. A tall purple bunny with no head, standing there, red-faced and sweating, and breathing like he was going to pass out. Poor Teddy. She was screaming so loud I had to grab my stuff and go.

So, all you mommies with the happy pictures of your kids with Mickey and Santa. Phhttt...pphhttt.... Shit. How do you make a raspberry sound.