Heaven vs. Hell

Constantine

The idea of hell has always frustrated and fascinated me. Fallen angels. God versus the devil. Good versus evil. Sinners, redemption.

I went to Catholic school from 5th grade until I graduated high school. I went to Sunday school, studied the Baltimore Catechism. I had my First Holy Communion, was Confirmed and was baptized in the church. You would think I would know this stuff, but I don't. My BFF is practically a walking encyclopedia on religions.

What got me started was reading an article on evil. Not bad people doing bad things. Not even good people who snap and do bad things. Evil. So, I am going to confess to my ignorance regarding this subject. Did God make hell? Growing up, the nuns would tell us all about mortal sins and roasting in hell fire for eternity. ETERNITY. It was absolutely frightening to me. Some of the sins that were mortal sins seemed pretty easy to commit. Rebelling against your parents?? Jiminy, doesn't everyone on the planet rebel against their parents? Why would that send you to hell. Okay. Maybe that isn't true anymore. I know they changed the rule about babies who died without being baptized going to limbo.

I really would like to know does religion teach that Satan is equal to God? They battle for the souls of man? I know the idea is that God does not send people to hell, people commit sins that by default send them to Hades. By the way, wouldn't Satan like having all the bad people in the world down partying with him? I mean a big part of me likes the idea of Hitler roasting in hell and being tormented for his sins. But why would Satan PUNISH people? He likes bad, enjoys evil, delights in torment. Wouldn't it be God who does the punishing?

Maybe I should have paid more attention in Sunday school. Those nuns were scary though. I remember Sister Benedict. She was the principal at my elementary school. One day, I guess the teacher in our 5th grade class was absent, so she came in to teach us. Sister was a cranky old lady. She had the long black habit, a long rosary hung down from her waist, and she always seemed to be in a bad mood. She was asking the kids something, probably about what the teacher had been teaching us. I wasn't paying attention. She blathered on and on. I was reading a book at my desk, I think it was "Christy" by Catherine Marshall, my favorite book at that age. I was totally engrossed turning the pages as fast as I could when all of a sudden, WHACK! I got nailed in the head by Sister Benedict. Sheesh. At least I never had to stand with my nose against the chalkboard with gum stuck to my nose. (Gum chewing was definitely discouraged.) I am also very glad I did not have to have my mouth washed out with soap. Our bathrooms had liquid soap and I am sure it tasted terrible.

And don't get me started on uniforms and oxford shoes and wool skirts and itchy knee high socks and stations of the cross and confession and......Sigh. How many Hail Marys will this be?

So Help Me God

Fox News

I don't think too many people know how sentimental I am about things patriotic. I love going to air shows and watching the military jets fly overhead. I cry when I hear "I'm Proud to be an American." Going to Arlington Cemetery was a deeply touching moment in my life. And, even though I did not vote for him, the ceremony to swear in our new President will move me greatly. From what I have read, he is a man who is also very aware of his place in history and the significance of his office.

But once again, the atheists of America are going at it again. I practice no religion nowadays. I have no axe to grind regarding any attack they make against any particular religion. (Although they do seem to have a special animosity against anything Christian.) I grew up Catholic, went to Catholic school from fifth grade until my high school graduation. I have been baptized, had my first Holy Communion, and Confirmation.

These are the same people who are making our schools into the most bland, noxious, politically correct, and intolerant places around. Are you offended by something? Well, by god, you better complain and get that banned from the school. God forbid we offend somebody. Let us not celebrate anything like we used to. We CAN celebrate gay pride day, Earth Day, make a religion about global warming, and lord help you if you disagree with them. You are not just wrong, you don't just disagree or have a different opinion, you are EVIL. You are BAD.

I am glad we have a President who believes in something bigger than himself and that it does seem to inform his life. I am glad he is reaching out to people like Rick Warren. Maybe his attack dog democrats will be leashed for four years. I doubt it, but we can hope. He needs a lot people praying for him right now because from what I have read of his plans for our economy, he seems doomed to play captain of the Titanic.

So help me God, I may have to slap the next atheist I see.

Feed Your Head...

And if you go chasing rabbits
And you know you're going to fall,
Tell 'em a hookah smoking caterpillar
Has given you the call.
Call Alice
When she was just small.
When the men on the chessboard
Get up and tell you where to go
And you've just had some kind of mushroom
And your mind is moving low.
Go ask Alice
I think she'll know.
When logic and proportion
Have fallen sloppy dead,
And the White Knight is talking backwards
And the Red Queen's "off with her head!"
Remember what the dormouse said:
"Feed your head. Feed your head. Feed your head"
Jefferson Airplane

Yesterday I felt like Alice falling down the rabbit hole. I spent the evening in a sweat lodge with a Cherokee medicine man leading the sweat. It was the night to "fall back" for daylight savings, so the medicine man had a sweat lodge welcoming the Star People. You could not have picked a better night. We were out in Alpine with no city lights but the clouds were moving in as if it was going to storm later.

I am not a religious person...I try to be spiritual but I have to admit being swept up in rituals is a leap of faith I have never been able to do. It was incredible hearing him drum and tell the tales of the ancestors and their beliefs. But the sweat lodge itself was almost more than I could take. You crawl in on your hands and knees. It is dark inside and hard to tell where everyone is and even where to sit. We finally all get in, about 20 people, and they bring in the lava rocks that have been heated by the fire tender. Okay, I am already hot before the first hot rock comes in, so I wonder how I am going to handle making it even hotter. After hitting age 50, being cold is almost a figment of my imagination and I sleep with the windows open in the winter.

They bring in 7 rocks and then they CLOSE up the little lodge we are in. So far, I am saying to myself, I can handle this, I'm a big girl. I have only a few drops of sweat falling off my nose and onto my chest. He starts to tell stories and is drumming and singing. He is very good at all of these. I am totally distracted and forget how hot I am and how much I dislike sweat streaming down my face, running down my neck and back, and just generally dripping everywhere. I am very grateful no one can see me. Then, he pours water all over the rocks. Arghhhh.... now it is hotter than hades in there. Just as I think I am going to make a scene, they open the lodge and fresh air flows in. Ahh, I made it. Just kidding. They bring in about 13 more red hot stones, which by the way are incredibly beautiful when they are hot. They look like brains that are smoking and throbbing with the heat.

So they close up the lodge for the second round and now I remember my friend says they will do 4 rounds of this!! He tells more stories, sings more and drums but I can hardly concentrate I am so hot. My heart is pounding and I wonder how big a sissy I will be if I freak out. I manage to lie down and, Oh My God, a flow of fresh air hits my neck. I am using my hair as a pillow and I really do not care that I am lying on the ground. I am COOL! (Not in the hip way sorry to say.) Now, I can really listen and learn to be quiet even in my own mind.

They open up the lodge at this point and then peel back part of the roof. Now we can see the sky with clouds scudding by obscuring the stars, but every once in a while, all you can see is stars. The fire tender told us later that after we opened the top and poured water on the stones, and we were supposed to send our prayers and hopes and wishes up with the steam, that a falling star shot
across the sky. They could see lightning far off in the distance. We finished the last 2 rounds and then crawled out.

I am quite sure I looked like a bedraggled, very sad, wet dog but I felt much calmer than when I went in. We all went to the beautiful home of the lady who owned the property and had a late dinner. We had to leave quickly. My friend's husband called to say their son was in the emergency room with a possible bleeding ulcer. He had coughed up blood earlier.

We said our thanks to everyone and started back home. I was so relieved to find out she also thought it was hot enough that she was ready to panic and she has been to quite a few sweat lodges. It made me feel less like a wuss.

So many lessons and things I learned last night and I am still digesting them:
I did not know you could buy loose tobacco. We bought some at a smoke shop as an offering to the medicine man and the fire tender. But I guess I should have figured that out because my daughter and her friends use a hookah pipe.

I learned that I am still always looking at spirituality as something that is beyond my reach. I still feel slightly ridiculous with the rituals and the words that go with the rituals. This is not a slam on religion. I know too many people much wiser, much smarter and much happier than I am who are religous to say it is all a bunch of hooey.

I learned that I would rather find God sitting outside looking at the stars.

Enjoy the Jefferson Airplane "White Rabbit"