Friday, February 26, 2010

Flukes and Spouts

I wonder if whales have a sense of humor? Do you think that they ponder our existence at all? Or are we like squawking seagulls dropping doo doo over their heads? You know--loud, obnoxious, bossy, pushy, messy.

Yes, we went out whaling again and this time we got us some whales. One hundred ninety people shooting at them like mad. It was a mess. I thought we would capsize every time they would say, "Whale at 3 o'clock!" and everyone would stampede to the keelhaul side, which is nautical speak for the right side of the boat. The left side is the peg leg side, the front of the boat is aye matey, and the back of the boat is the poopdeck side. I am so educated on those terms now. (There is some fancy measurement on when a boat becomes a ship, something like if it is longer than 150 yellow rubber duckies it is a ship.)

I felt kinda of bad for the little kids on board. (Yes, yes. There were little kids on the boat. No, I didn't heave any of them overboard. I was the model of restraint.) I mean, they totally don't get the o'clock stuff. We are going to have to invent a whole new way to do that. They have no idea how to tell time. My Teddy Bear got a fancy new watch for Christmas and she loves wearing it because it's pretty, but do not ask what time it is. She will pull out her cell phone. She says the watch is just a fashion accessory, it's not really meant to tell you the time. How could it be she tells me...there are no numbers on it, only little lines. Whatever. Sesame Street needs to get cracking on this problem.

Anywho, whales, dolphins, and sea lions were out in force...and so were the looky loos. Not us, of course. We motored out past buoy SD-1. Sailboats were far out on the horizon. The San Diego skyline was off to our left looking beautiful. I had a Bloody Mary in hand. Sunlight sparkling off the water. Life was beautiful. Except for all the people on the boat. If you remember, the last time we went whaling, it was raining and there was maybe 30 people on that excursion. This time it was sunny but not hot and we were packed like sardines with 190 people. And thank heavens the little kids stayed on the middle deck for the most part. When I did become such a curmudgeon? I used to be able to tolerate decibel levels that would make a Children of Bodom concert seem quiet by comparison. I was the mom that let the kids leave the cool fort they made in my living room up for days because they weren't done with their adventure.

Back to point. 

You could see other boats wayyyyy out there. Until we started seeing whales. Then it was like a crash on the 405 freeway. The other boats start racing toward us going right over where we had seen a whale. That is OUR whale, go away! There we are floating with our engines trying to be as quiet as possible and here comes the gawkers (not us, of course). It was a traffic jam. Gridlock. 

I think the whales are going to need a car pool lane. 

And the whales were everywhere~! Flukes and spouts. One at a time. Two at a time, sometimes even four at a time. There we were running back and forth trying to see them all. I finally just stayed put in the perfect spot. 

I don't think my mailman will be amused. But like I have said before, he can bite me. He only brings me letters from the tax man and junk mail. 

So, is everybody ready to float around and drink rum and yo ho ho on the Pacific Ocean? I'm sure that a whale spout enema doesn't hurt too much.

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Eva Gallant said...

I've never been on a whale watch. I've seen Shamu, but that doesn't really count. BTW, did you see on the news about the Orca that killed the trainer at Seaworld? Scary stuff. I guess the general consensus is that whales should be left to swim free in the ocean; if they are confined to the equivalent of a bathtub, there's no telling how they'll react.

Thanks for visiting my blog. Hope you'll come back often...I'm waaaaaay on the farside of 50; I retired last April.

Resentful Wife said...

Something I've never done but would love to do someday. Color me green. (with envy)

Happy Hour...Somewhere said...

Eva...Whale watching is fun, especially if you go out to lunch afterward. Just kidding. It was amazing how many dolphins were racing along side us and the sea lions were out catching things. I saw that about Shamu. I know they shut down the Shamu shows out her in San Diego too. A huge part of me wants to set them all free. Love your blog. I wish I could retire but I will probably be working until I drop.

Resentful Wife...Ah, if you are ever out and about in Southern California in January, let's go whale watching. It really was incredible to see them about 100 yards off the boat. Adventure Hornblower was the name of the boat and the were wonderful.

adrienzgirl said...

Despite the allure of the alcohol, and the magnificence of those creatures. Iza landlubber.
I like the dry stuff. Don't expect to see me out on anything floating where if there were to be say, a really big wave or something, I might end up swimming with things that...CAN EAT ME!

Nope, not I!

English Rider said...

I always scan the ocean for potential whales. They fascinate me. I loved your description of your trip. I have dramamine sea-sick pills at the ready, always in my purse. If anyone offers me a whale watching outing, I'm ready.

Coffeypot said...

The wife and I will be in San Diego in September for my Navy reunion. I havent' been back there since we armed up for the WestPack back in '64.

Tgoette said...

I would love to go whale watching. Maybe someday we will take the San Francisco Whale Watching tour just so we can say we did it! I love being out on the ocean, especially if there is alcohol involved!

Laoch of Chicago said...

Whales are remarkably intelligent. I think our understanding of them is pretty deficient.

Aunt Juicebox said...

I'm afraid to go on a boat, but this would be so fun. I do the same thing with watches, btw. I wear them as an accessory, but tell time with my phone. ;)

Housewife Savant said...

I'd love whale watching, and I'd be scared to death.
There's not enough blood in Mary to calm me if one came within a hundred yards of my poopdeck.
How cool though. And utterly terrifying.

ethelmaepotter! said...

I'd love to do the whale watching thing - BUT...I'd be plenty ticked if all those other boats started crowded in on my whale, too. And I'd want to be right up front and center, with my camera. I'm short. I've got dibs on the good spot.

Red Writer said...

Funny, as everyone was looking for the whales, I was staring at the young wife next to me that had something stuck between her teeth. I think she got uncomfortable with my continuous looks because they moved. It was part of my plan, actually. I finally got the rail!

Miscellany said...

It's too bad whales don't like eating boats filled with gawking humans.

Happy Hour...Somewhere said...

Miscellany...Sheesh. Now you want me to be whale chow? Although I guess Shamu would try to horn in on the action. Since they don't have teeth, they would swallow me whole. I wonder if people come in flavors?