Thursday, February 4, 2010

I Plan On Keeping My Marbles



I love Chinese checkers.

I bite the big one at chess. 

I know. Chess is for the super smart among us. Those who memorize a chess board and plot and strategize like a mad Napoleon. They ponder. They extrapolate. They freaking drive me crazy. I know how all the pieces move. I'm not a total dunderhead but I don't play with a strategy, which is why I always get my butt kicked. I like sliding that old Bishop in a diagonal dash across the board. Move my pawns so they can be taken like the peons they are. I like the quirky Knight and like to jump him all over the board just to move him. 

And is there anything more humiliating than getting your King or Queen bumped off by a pawn? I don't play the right way so a real chess player will never play with me. Thank god. They get mad when you win because you just wanted to move the castle near your knight because in my mind I am re-enacting the scene from Monty Python, The Holy Grail, and thinking of coconuts and swallows or some such folly. 

No, I am definitely not a chess person.

I like Chinese checkers. So egalitarian. All the marbles are the same size, just different colors, and they all have the same chances. None have super powers. They can't jump up one and across two. One marble does not get to say "Off with your head!" I would also say that unlike regular ol' checkers and chess, you don't lose your marbles. Isn't that a great metaphor for life? Nobody assassinates your King or Queen, or kings you and takes your chips. 

The goal is to jump all your marbles to the other side before the other guy does and you keep your marbles. 

I also like games that move fast. Jump, jump, jump. None of this head hurting planning. Jump. Jump.   

But I like to kick butt and win, too.  (So much for egalitarian!)

Does anybody want to play? You can keep your marbles, too.


post signature

29 comments:

Tattoos and Teething Rings said...

My marbles are long gone, sadly. I have tried chess but can never remember what can move where and when- too many rules!

Happy Hour...Somewhere said...

Tattoos...I often wonder if wizard chess was real if it would be more fun to learn. You can take out your aggression on the chessboard. I promise I did not take your marbles...I can only fit so many in my head and then they start falling out my ears.

Homesick Cajun said...

Whew girl...I have no idea where my marbles went to lol!

Happy Hour...Somewhere said...

Homesick Cajun...That reminds me of that scene in Peter Pan or Neverland or something where the uncle is crawling around the floor looking for his marbles~! Literally. Thanks for stopping by~!

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

My lack of planning and foresight does me in during chess, too. I usually know the first few moves I'll make, and then I try to adjust to what the other player is doing.

The key is to control the middle of the board. After that, I usually either go too aggressive or too conservative. *sighs*

Elliott said...

HH, the film of which you speak is Hook, with Robin Williams. I'm horrid at chess, because like Napoleon, I know chicks only dig guys with skills.

But at least I understand the game. I'm so lost with Chinese checkers I don't know where to begin.

Happy Hour...Somewhere said...

mjenks...The middle of the board? We need to play chess together...we can just move our pieces around in our own end zones and say we each win. Planning is definitely a skill I have let atrophy, so I guess I better not use up what little I have left on chess.

Happy Hour...Somewhere said...

Elliott...Damn. You are so right...girls like guys with skills. Where do you keep your liger? I think short mad genius and you come up with Mr. Dynamite. I just about busted a gut laughing.

Maybe you can learn Chinese chess. YouTube had all kinds of videos of people playing this game and I did not get it at all. You cannot be lost with Chinese checkers...the marble only does one thing. Oh, and it jumps, too. And there are tons of marbles all over the board. Yeah, I guess it can be messy looking.

Red Writer said...

I'll play (raising hand enthusiastically) I have no marbles though, not sure if I lost them or gave them away or ever had them to begin with! Can you loan me some of yours?

I was watching the video and I want to be able to dance like that. I'm so damn white.

Juliana said...

Oh, I want to play chinese checkers..my mchubby is not into board games, but I really want to play now!!!

Laoch of Chicago said...

I haven't thought of that game in years. Thanks for the memory.

Mad Woman said...

I haven't known where my marbles are in years. But I love love Chinese Checkers!

tori said...

I've never played Chinese Checkers before (or that I can remember-I have lost quite a few of my marbles so that may explain it). thanks for following-right back at ya!

funderson said...

My 9 year old son has been trying to teach me how to play chess and it is NOT pretty

matron said...

I play chess at about your level and used to enjoy playing with anyone who was about the same standard.My grandchildren were perfect to play with because I could win ,eventually they got better than me,so I DO NOT PLAY ANY MORE,I am a sore looser.!!!!

As for marbles,I love the colored ones,not to play with,but to collect,can never have too many marbles,you never know when you might need them.!!!

911 and the Randomness.. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
911 and the Randomness.. said...

Oh I want to play!! I even have most of my marbles.. is it ok to use a bit of paper for the 2 that are lost? :)

Lola Lakely said...

I love that you equate Chinese checkers with being egalitarian. You win. Also, I thought of you because Zombieland just came out on DVD.

Happy Hour...Somewhere said...

Red Writer...Of course, I will loan you some marbles but you can't throw them at me if you lose~! Gosh, I guess I'm more competitive than I think.

Juliana...That is why I love Chinese checkers...tons of people can play at one time and yet the game goes pretty quickly!

Laoch...Good to see you~! Read you? I don't even remember what got me started thinking about this game again (I'm sure it was fascinating though.) I think I was watching Harry Potter and wizard chess came up.

Mad Woman...See that's why I love this game...you get a whole new set of marbles to play with~!

Happy Hour...Somewhere said...

Tori...Get that smarty pants son of yours to play with you. He probably has super supple fingers to make jumping the marbles easy to move~! I just had to throw in that word. Your post on his use of the word was hilarious~!

Funderson...You will have to let me if you are a chess master soon. I have a feeling if a 9-year-old is teaching you, yeah, it might get a little hard~! They have that young brain thing going on. They can hardwire new synapses to learn things whereas I have to destroy brain cells to learn something new~!

Matron...Heavens, I did not even think about my grandson playing chess with me. His mom and dad are such smarty pants, so I'm sure he will be kicking this granny's butt one day. I have a few years, he is only going to be 2 in a few weeks~!

911...Welcome and the more the merrier~! I'm trying to picture playing chinese checkers with little pieces of paper...kind of like California IOUs~!

Lola....Just got my copy of Zombieland and I think I will wait till my nephew gets here to watch it~! We can memorize the rules together. If I can pry him off the computer and the World of Warcraft that is. Have fun watching the Super Bowl!

Madame DeFarge said...

I can't play any games just in case I lose. And I'm a dreadful loser. Great video. Must try it out at work.

@eloh said...

I love Chinese checkers myself...and no chess.

Aunt Juicebox said...

I was beginning to think the possums had gotten you!

I had my husband convinced for several years that I couldn't play him at chess because I was a MASTER and I didn't want to beat him down. Eventually he talked me into playing, and for the entire game he was on super alert because I thought I was going to be tough to beat. Um, yeah - I barely even know the rules. LMAO!!

Pearl said...

Our floors are crooked enough in this old house that I ALWAYS know where my marbles are -- they've all rolled toward the china hutch. :-)

I have never played chess. I've been cheated somehow, haven't I?

Pearl

Tgoette said...

I used to be really good at chess. That or I just played really lousy opponents. But Chinese Checkers is a fun game. Sadly, I lost my marbles awhile ago.

A Cuban In London said...

Well, guess what? I love Chinese checkers and... chess. :-)

Oh, yes, and I kick butt, too, especially when someone takes my Queen (never a pawn, dear, I don't stoop that low :-D).

Great post.

Greetings from London.

Nezzy said...

Oh baby my middle name is competitive! Not sure if I have enough marbles left to play! I'm thinkin' the menobrain may have misplaced them somewhere? Has anyone out there seen my marbles???? Heeeheehe!

Ya'll have a greatly blessed day!

Hill said...

Marbles...

I remember having some at one time.

Love card games, particularly cutthroat hearts.

Great blog you have here.

:)

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