Thursday, February 4, 2010
I love Chinese checkers.
I bite the big one at chess.
I know. Chess is for the super smart among us. Those who memorize a chess board and plot and strategize like a mad Napoleon. They ponder. They extrapolate. They freaking drive me crazy. I know how all the pieces move. I'm not a total dunderhead but I don't play with a strategy, which is why I always get my butt kicked. I like sliding that old Bishop in a diagonal dash across the board. Move my pawns so they can be taken like the peons they are. I like the quirky Knight and like to jump him all over the board just to move him.
And is there anything more humiliating than getting your King or Queen bumped off by a pawn? I don't play the right way so a real chess player will never play with me. Thank god. They get mad when you win because you just wanted to move the castle near your knight because in my mind I am re-enacting the scene from Monty Python, The Holy Grail, and thinking of coconuts and swallows or some such folly.
No, I am definitely not a chess person.
I like Chinese checkers. So egalitarian. All the marbles are the same size, just different colors, and they all have the same chances. None have super powers. They can't jump up one and across two. One marble does not get to say "Off with your head!" I would also say that unlike regular ol' checkers and chess, you don't lose your marbles. Isn't that a great metaphor for life? Nobody assassinates your King or Queen, or kings you and takes your chips.
The goal is to jump all your marbles to the other side before the other guy does and you keep your marbles.
I also like games that move fast. Jump, jump, jump. None of this head hurting planning. Jump. Jump.
But I like to kick butt and win, too. (So much for egalitarian!)
Does anybody want to play? You can keep your marbles, too.
Posted by Happy Hour...Somewhere at 4:56 PM