The Longest Way

For some reason, Eloh, this reminded me of something you would appreciate. Sometimes the journey changes who you are and sometimes it just reminds you of who you are. And sometimes it just puts your ass on a plane and takes you for a ride.

Bing...Bing...Bing Goes the Internet

I have been captured by this jingle. I cannot stop listening. Oh lord. Bing, bing, bing, bing.

That "dance" is so cool. And if you are not laughing your ass off at 45 seconds into this video, there is seriously something wrong with you. Don't you want a pair of pants like Jonathan? Go Bing the internet.

Damn that Microsoft. www.bing.com

Frugal People of the World Unite~!

From a letter to the editor of the Vail Daily:

"All you people who own and drive gas-guzzling SUVs out there, as far as i'm concerned, you are all eco-terrorists! You need to beimmediately arrested, jailed and have your vehicles forcibly confiscated from you. I advocate long prison terms for your willful idiocy!

You are destroying your children's future by condemning them to a planet that will not support life anymore because you are belching out ungodly amounts of CO2 from your SUVs, causing irreversible global climate change to occur.

Are you aware that millions and millions of innocent men, women and children are dying on this planet every single day, just so you can live in million dollar condos and drive around in luxury vehicles?

I urge the Obama administration and the state legistlatures to immediately criminalize all SUVs and stop this insanity before it destroys us all! If you wasteful American idiots resist, may you be either thrown into government-operated FEMA concentration camps or taken out and shot.

Take it from Richard Heinberg and his book, “The Party's Over.” Get it through your thick heads!

Enough of your madness!

Wren Guzman"


Good lord.

So what else should be illegal and cause us to be thrown in jail for? I think all the teenagers who throw their fast food crap out of car windows should go to jail for being ecoterrorists. Then we could send Jack in the Box to jail with them so he can keep Ronald McDonald company.

Come on, folks, I'm sure you are guilty of some ecoterrorism and need to purchase carbon credits and offsets. I wonder if planting a tree absolves me of my sins?

I think frugal people of the world probably have the right idea. If you squeeze a nickel until it cries uncle, you are probably being green. They reduce because damn if they are going to buy anything, they reuse everything (wash their plastic sandwich bags, Cool Whip containers, etc.) and recycle. They definitely recycle. They paid that damn nickel to the state for recycling and they are going to get it back. I had a friend who thought it was an outrage that coffee could cost $3.00 or a martini could be $15.00. She brown bagged it every day and you know what? Because she watched every penny, it was a great diet! No gluttony allowed when you are frugal.

So we should all happily wear the title cheapskate, frugal, tightwad and tell everyone we are being green. And maybe we can stay out of jail where all the SUV driving moms are organizing a penitentiary PTA.

Bean Pot from Alpha Centauri

I think my mom likes aliens...she has always been crazy about outer space stuff, you know. I knew there was something amiss about her. We were making beans for the BBQ and mom said the lid was a no go. It did look kind of yucky. She went hunting for a new lid that would fit and this is what she created. She is the one that said it looked like an alien, not me. I'm afraid to find out who my dad really is....Michael Rennie?

Shazbot. I mean damn.

I Am "Loosing" My Mind

*sigh* This has been causing me to LOSE my mind and when I finish LOSING my mind, my cranium will have more room for my brain and it will feel LOOSER. Also, my friend L is putting me on a diet and training program and will be kicking my ass for the new few months, so I will be LOSING weight so my pants will fit LOOSER because I don't want to look like a LOSER. *fingers in the shape of an L on my forehead*

I am a grammatical hack. I love run on sentences. I think the ellipsis is an awesome super hero of punctuation. I know what a serial comma is but I think of Dexter now when I read about it. "Serial Comma Arrested in Bloody Diagram Killings." But this has been driving me batty.

Lose and loose. Loose has a nice sibilant sound to it, like you are about to say Lucy, as in Lucy has lots of 'splaining to do. Lose is all harsh, like bees with their panties in a bunch.

Thanks for letting me vent. The random PSA for no good reason is over.

But don't get me started on isles and aisles.

Pocked Pecker

People ask me all the time why on earth I play with Twitter and then this lovely tweet came through.

weirdnews

Safe Sex Poster: No Laughing Matter http://weirdasianews.com/?p...36 minutes ago from API

It is a serious problem in Taiwan apparently with the age of people getting STDs and AIDS getting younger and younger.

So you see the pecker looking all sassy and satisfied leaving...leaving...well, a hoo hoo. See the fuzzy wall and is that really what I think it is above the door? You know what I mean. Oh, come on. It rhymes with shit. But then poor Pecker "comes" out and starts to look a little sickly. Oh my. He is all bumpy and greenish like a left over hot dog from Fourth of July. And what do his pecker friends do? Those dicks laugh at him. They are safely sandwiched in their pecker packets, all safe and sound in latex land.

I love Twitter. And I know there are people out there wondering why I did not use the word twat to talk about Twitter. Shame on you. That would be too easy and I am not that kind of girl. *sniff*

Testing, Testing

The Great Recession is coming home to roost, fluff its feathers, peck around my pad, and generally causing clucking in my head. Do you talk to yourself? JuJuBeez does and my BB says it is...interesting. She will be having an entire internal conversation with herself and then blurt an odd comment or two to herself. Well, she says she is talking to BB, he just may not be in the room at the time. I have caught myself muttering to myself. I sound like a nattering nabob even to myself. Can you imagine living through the Great Depression?

Damn. I am rambling today. I had to take a test for a possible new account. I had to transcribe 3 emergency department reports with three different physicians. I only left one hole in the reports. Under HEENT exam, eyes normal, conjunctivae are....are...what? I don't often get stuck on a simple history and physical but it happens sometimes. Not sure if I will get the account though. How picky are they about punctuation? Grammar? Do you stick with what the doc says mostly or fix it?

I was palpitating about taking the test. L already works for the company so I tested at her house. I could not type on her keyboard. You would have thought I had just learned to type, I was stumbling all over the place like a spastic mouse getting chased all over the keyboard.

L and the Marine are going to Del Mar to the horse track and they invited me along for this Saturday. Woo hoo. Of course, I will be picking horses on a purely moronic basis. Is it a pretty color? I love gray horses, so that is one criteria. The name of the horse? Jockey colors? Does the owner have a cute butt? Teddy Bear knows horses better than I do, but she loves jumping and cross country. Pony camps used to drive me nuts. Little eight-year-old Teddy on a giant horse jumping. She loved riding and Temecula has its fair share of horse nuts but to do it right is expensive, so she stopped riding. Well, that and she started high school and other things are more interesting as you get older.

Do you want me place any bets for you? Does that make me a bookie? Is that illegal. Dang. How about suggestions? Oh, and I am joining a Fantasy Football league. So does the cute quarterback rule apply? Or does the cute animal team name always win? Bears vs. Eagles? (They probably don't even play against each other.) Bears are mean but eagles are tough. I guess I will go with fuzzy. Packers vs Vikings? Vikings sound nummy. I know...you only pick the players from the teams. Sigh. I may have to have my dad on speed dial when we go to draft.

Is it Friday yet? Happy Hour anyone?