Monday, January 18, 2010

Time for My Stoutness Exercises, or Tut Tut, It Looks Like Rain



Yes, I am good at my stoutness exercises. I am stout, round, and I have found I improve my appetite when I exercise. That Winnie the Pooh was a genius. 

My diet is going as well as Pooh's disguise at being a little black rain cloud. I have only walked the dog ONCE since the first. 

Today is Monday, so I am going to pretend this is the first of the year because there is just no way it is already the 18th. January is more than half way done. Kaput. Done. I only took my tree down a few days ago because in my mind it is only January 5th or so. 


What do you do when you get the blues? I am thinking I am due for a mid-life crisis. Not that I think I am going to live to 104. (Fancy math, huh?) Nor has the Grim Reaper paid a call to fill me in on my day of reckoning. Of course, if HE did show up, I might have a coronary and that would be all she wrote. 


I have been blue. In a funk. Not cranky but definitely not myself. I feel like not only is the glass half empty but someone is drinking my half. 


I have absented myself from company because I believe that going around in a bad mood is like going around with body odor or bad breath. (My favorite talk show host actually says that...I am totally stealing his line.) I don't want my friends and family to go sniffing around me saying, "Ewwww, bad mood...get a life!" Like people who smell their own armpits. 





I am trying to invent a bad mood deodorant. Puppies, kitten, stuffed animals? My personal Teddy Bear, my lovely annoying daughter, has lately made me want to run off to Build-a-Bear and get a new model. 


So I have been thinking what I could do to show everyone I have finally lost it, slipped into mid-life decrepitude. Men go out and buy sports cars, which would be my number one fantasy. I love to drive fast. But somehow you just look lame zooming along in a minivan. No cool factor there. I'm too old to run away and be an astronaut and there is no way I'm ready to wear adult diapers. 


I think jumping out of a plane and parachuting might be taking it to an extreme and bungee jumping would only make the blood rush to my head and give me a headache. Not to mention I'm a chicken and afraid of heights. I would love to do that squirrel flying with those funny suits. You know, you jump off a cliff wearing a suit that makes you look like a flying squirrel and haul ass down the mountain. But the fear factor strikes again. 



I would go on a pilgrimage seeking answers but I also believe in the saying, "Where ever you go, there you are." 


I will be exercising this week and trying to see that glass as half full. I just hope whoever was drinking from it didn't backwash. 


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20 comments:

funderson said...

sorry! I hope the bad mood ends soon. I've found if one takes long enough walks, the funk often times just gets left out there along the way

Elliott said...

If you fill the glass with whisky, any germs from backwash would be neutralized. And I would be more than willing to share my whisky with you.

If it makes you feel better, I didn't get around to taking the tree down this weekend, so you're one up on me.

Stop by the blog, we have pie. Here's to an end to the winter blues.

Happy Hour...Somewhere said...

@funderson...Yes, I think you are so right. The poor dog needs to get out probably as much as I do. He has that frantic about to go insane look in his eyes. We are matched set it sounds like~!

@elliott...A glass of whisky sounds so good. I need to find a good sipping whisky. Is it whiskey or whisky? There is probably a big difference and I am betraying my ignorance. Enjoy your tree while it is up...my family rooms looks naked without it. How funny about the pie...my SIL and I used to go out and go "pieing" which meant finding the best pie in town and pigging out. Will pop by your blog for some pie~!

Elliott said...

Scotch and Irish are traditionally whisky, Canadian and US are usually whiskey. Same product, but there's some snobbish us-versus-them thing going on to create two spellings. I'll drink it either way. For sipping I love Pendleton's, you can probably get it on your coast rather easily. Woodford Reserve is nice, too.

And I'm all about pie. I've devoted this entire week on my blog to the goodness of pie, since this coming Saturday is National Pie Day.

@eloh said...

That traveling diaper crap doesn't work....I know.

Not unless space diapers are better than the Wally World stuff.

Of course I'm into new experiences and peeing your car on purpose is right up there with... well...now I'm depressed.

Happy Hour...Somewhere said...

@eloh...When I read that the nutty astronaut traveled across country wearing an adult diaper so she would not have to stop, I knew I definitely don't have the "right stuff." At least in space, you have a real excuse, but because you want to get even with a girl for going after your man? Yikes. She could be on an episode of that show bad girls or mean girls or whatever they call those wretched female baboons. They both have red bottoms, you see.

Madame DeFarge said...

I have no real solution. My middle aged decrepitude is still a few years ahead of me, but I think I'll need all the practice that I can get to be truly decrepit.

@eloh said...

Does my comment above make me look crazier than I really am?

A couple years ago when all this happened with the Space chic in Texas peeing herself all the way to Florida.....

Happened at the same time I needed to get 1,000 miles as quickly as possible. I'm old, need massive amounts of coffee and I pee all the time even without coffee. Factor in the gas mileage in starting and stopping.....and...well....it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Happy Hour...Somewhere said...

@eloh...As an honorary member of the wee bladder club, I totally get it. Truthfully, I am almost throne ridden if I drink too much water, I can survive quite a while if drinking coffee.

Crazy? Heck no. You have the most interesting perspective on things. I think you probably reinvented the box and then decided to throw it out and think outside of it anyways. Crazy like a fox as my dad would say.

Sandi said...

Bad moods suck. And all the "just get out there and have fun" things people say just make it worse. The only thing that has ever helped me was keeping a journal (locked Word document) and writing down my mood periodically. Putting things down on paper helped me find out what was going on, and gong back and reading old entries helped me see any changes (good or bad). That and red wine.

Aunt Juicebox said...

The Hell you say?? The 18th??? No way!

Chantel said...

I packed away Christmas. Bought tequila. Spring-scrented candles (yankee "greenhouse" rocks), coconut body splash, and a HUGE ASS tub of baby herbs smack in the center of the dining room... "spring is coming, spring is coming, spring is...."

matron said...

Shopping is the best cure for the 'blues' It works for me anyway.Go out and buy something bright and cheerful,even if you don't need it.Only draw back to this solution is if you can't afford to shop,then 'blues' get worse,so get a bottle of whiskey or wine.!!
Hope your mood lifts soon,best wishes Carolyn

Phoenix said...

Well, technically speaking, exercise does boost your mood...lots of free endorphins there. But then, so does chocolate and pampering yourself.

Everybody gets the blues a bit after the holidays, I'm sure. And January is one hellish, gray month to deal with. Find the things that make you smile, that light up your day, and indulge in them. I don't know where we got this idea that we're supposed to be miserable and don't have the right to do anything about it :)

So go forth and get happy! :)

ethelmaepotter! said...

It's the winter blues, sweetie. Your good mood will return, in record time it seems this year, as in where-did-the-first-half-of-January-go?!
And no stoutness exercise is required.

adrienzgirl said...

Get it together Kat! Don't make me crack the whip or worse send Dual Mom to do it!

Bev said...

Hey there! Just popping via Raising Stink. Love your blog!

Sorry about the funk - I've been in one myself this month, too. Here's to better days ahead.

Karen Carter said...

Here is my RX....Book club meetings with the girls, Chocolate, (screw the diet) Mary Poppins play or at least the soundtrack. A big hug from your grandson and a cleaning girl to come while you are out for coffee. An indulgence sure but you will feel soooo good when you return. Love you and Love your funny smile. It better return soon or I am coming to get ya

Nezzy said...

I'm sorry girl, I get out of bed happy bouncing around like a spastic teen. But in my book chocolate cures almost anything a chick can come up with. Just sayin....

Ya'll have a wonderfully delightful day!!! :o)

Red Writer said...

Pookie Bear! Not you too. I've been busy trying to keep your BB from going under. I knew there was something wrong with you and has been for a while, huh? What's with the two of you anyway? It's like you're...related or something. I'm sorry you're blue. Screw the diet, let's go pieing! You look great anyway, you always do. Besides, with this economy we need to keep the resturants afloat. Mmmm, floats... rootbeer floats.
Call my mom-she'll make you smile.
Love ya!
SIL