Saturday, September 12, 2009

Beer Pong Noob





I played my first game of beer pong last night...

Got chased down by the bouncer at a new restaurant in town...



A friend of L's got banished from the new restaurant in town...FOREVER...


Met the new owner of the Gambling Cowboy...


And just generally had a great birthday yesterday. Yes, my b'day is 9/11. 


How do you turn 52 and have that be your first game of beer pong? Not only is it my first game, I played it at my BFF's house (who just happens to be out of town with hubby) with her kids, Ruthless and Princess. Ruthless is very nice to this old lady. He and his friends sit and shoot the shit with me and I don't feel like a total old fart dufus. (Teddy Bear says I am though.) 


L had picked me up for dinner and we picked up her friend A. How to describe A? Petite, slim, double D's. Yes, that will do. A 42-year-old grandma. She was already drinking wine when we picked her up and was wobbling around on her stiletto heels. She wanted to bring the glass of wine with her but I said I'm pretty sure that is frowned upon. She had a large Starbucks cup sitting there, so she pours her wine into that and it looks like their coffee, and off she goes. I'm not sure L realized what was in the cup. 


Off to new restaurant in town. In Old Town. Pretty place, kinda snooty. Total geezer pick up joint. We went into the bar which was all tricked out with little low tables, round hidden corners with soft bench like couches that circled around the little tables and semi-circle ottomans. They had fabric ceiling decorations that looked like a sphincter. The only table available is smack dab in the middle of the room. The bar is packed but no one is sitting there, there is a black cloth covering a piece of equipment that is sitting on this table. Does not stop A who picks it up and moves it to the ottoman and we sit down. Poor guy comes racing up to rescue his projector but A is a master flirt and we get to stay. L orders wine, Pinot Noir, Pinot Grigio, Pinot Butter, I'm not sure. It's red wine and it all tastes like vinegar to me. The prices are outrageous, so we decide to walk across the street to another new restaurant. L pours her wine in A's Starbucks cup, I finish my Jack and coke, pay and skedaddle. 


As we are leaving, a big bouncer guy tells us, "Thanks for visiting and come back soon." How nice. This old lady is a sucker for manners. We cross the street with A wobbling along. (She had a broken pinkie toe. Did I forget to mention that?) L and I are walking way ahead of A when we hear running and a man shouting. I turn around to see what the heck. Big bouncer guy has caught up with A and told her he has to take her drink and that what she did was illegal. (This not being Vegas, you can't walk around with alcohol. Who knew?) I am pretending I have no idea who she is. I'm not a party animal. I don't go bar hopping to pick up men. He gets all serious on her ass and he tells her something but by this point I have walked way ahead. When she finally catches up with us, she tells us he has banished her from the new restaurant...forever. 


We go to the Gambling Cowboy where A knows everyone except for the new owner. L and I are starving. We meet the new owner. Nice man. Both L and A are very nice looking, so he spends quite a bit of time with us. I look like a mom. *sigh* 


I call Ruthless to see if his fiesta is still going on at BFF's house and he says yes and to come on over. 


Ruthless has some great friends, Danny Boy and Mike, who were there and because they know I have never played and want to learn to play, we team up to play beer pong. Mike and Ruthless are on one team and Danny Boy and I are on another. To see who goes first, you take turns throwing the ping pong ball into the cups full of beer set up like this picture. 


 
But you have to look into the eyes of the person opposite you and not look at the cups. Mike starts to do Marty Feldman eyes, I'm cracking up, throw the ball and...splash...right into the cup. The guys are screaming with laughter. I showed them. Right? Right?
We throw our two balls across the table trying to land in their cups of beer and we miss. Ruthless picks up the ball, carefully aims, calculates and throws and lands the ball in one of our cups. Oh no. What does that mean? Danny says don't worry, wait for Mike to throw. Well, of course, he puts that damn little ping pong ball into one of our cups and we now have to drink the beer that is in those cups. Uh oh. Hand-eye coordination is just not my strong suit. I could aim, ponder, plan the perfect trajectory, but as soon as I throw, the ball heads off into another orbit. 
But it came down to one cup to one cup...yes, it did. And I put that dang little ping pong ball into 4 cups. They ended up winning, but I thought that was pretty good for my first game. You know what was fascinating to me was watching some of the other kids shotgun beer. I don't think I can spill a beer as fast as they were shotgunning them. 
Being the mom that I am, I'm glad the kids were crashing at Ruthless' place and we managed to lose A somehow. (I felt like we were acting out the movie "The Hangover.") She got her panties in a bunch because we were not going to the Stampede to play pool and ride the bull and she called a friend to pick her up. Sheesh. It felt like high school. 
But I want BFF to know when she comes back and reads this post, her house was fine, the dogs were good, and her yard will probably be buried in 2 foot of beer cans by the time she gets home. 

11 comments:

@eloh said...

Sounds like a memorable b-day. Tell A not to worry, in a couple weeks she'll be able to waltz right into that joint with no problems.

Bill Stankus said...

After watching the college boys and their bouncy ball game I'm thinking school tuition should be doubled - that or all the shooters are physics majors and truly understand vectors and velocities.

Aunt Juicebox said...

I have a friend who's birthday is 9-11 as well. We took him out to lunch yesterday.

I've never played beer pong before either. And I've never been bowling. I only just this summer played darts for the first time.

KMcJoseph said...

That may be the coolest video ever!

Southern Sage said...

well that sounds like a perfect birthday to me!!

Karen said...

See the trouble you get into when you are not reading books!
Sounds like you had a fun night and glad you came home without being banned. We may need to go there one night to stir the pot. Too funny! and you better hope Casey has no internet in Italy : )

ethelmaepotter! said...

I don't know which is funnier - the post or the video!
Happy belated birthday! I am one year and five days older than you, but I have a friend who was also 52 on 9/11. I used to forget - was his birthday the tenth or the eleventh - nevermore!

otin said...

Maybe I could have a birthday like that if I could stay up later than 10:30! haha!

Purple Monkey Bandit said...

Though I am long out of college, I still enjoy a game of beer pong. In fact this weekend was my first time playing beer pong in the pool thanks to this guy http://www.portopong.com/ So much fun, but got real cold late at night.

MJ said...

"Fabric ceiling decorations that looked like a sphincter." Um . . . descriptive :)

Housewife Savant said...

If you're anything like me this all wrapped up by 9PM, right? Zzzzz...

I would SO like to tag along next year. Please?
I don't drink, but I'm terrific company and with me there'll always be a designated driver.