Monday, October 5, 2009

In Zombieland, You Follow the Rules

Rule #1....Cardio. 

Run like hell. Don't stop running. Keep running. Fatties will not survive. 

Although my personal favorite was Rule # The Double Tap. 

Horror movies always drive me nuts when the stupid people assume that the monster is dead with one bullet and they go up and TOUCH the monster and.....ohhhhhhhhhmyyyyygooddddddddddd it's still alive. Well, no kidding. Maybe you were already a zombie with no brains so you are on a quest to find some. Perhaps you deserve to get eaten. Go ahead and get chased by a zombie and have him munch on your limbs. 

One of the characters is on the hunt for Twinkies. Yes. Twinkies. Yellows logs of creamy goodness. He flips out at one point when he thinks he has found deep fried twinkies. Deep fried twinkies? Have you guys been holding out on me? 

I like frozen Ding Dongs.Does that count?

Rule #17  Don't be a hero. 

Ah, you know what happens. 

Of course, I took a Facebook quiz and only have a 55% chance of surviving. I figure my biggest downfall was failing Rule #1 Cardio.  It is so bad, I avoid walking to my mailbox, which is only 4 or 5 houses down the street. I wait until I have to run an errand and on my way out of the neighborhood I  go pick it up. Which, because I think I'm becoming a zombie, may be once a week....or longer. Do you have any idea how much junk mail I get? My mailbox is jammed, stuffed with JUNK. Junk. And that counts the letter from the IRS I got.  

Is it wrong to want to practice Rule #2 on the IRS? (Not the nice lady who helped me today. Full of southern charm and a laugh that just made you want to join in. I love to make the IRS laugh...and no, she was not laughing AT me. I told her that the company cannot find copies of old forms 1099 because they are lost in a warehouse, like the ark of  the covenant in Indiana Jones. She thought that was funny.)

BFF's son, Ruthless, took the quiz and has a 95% chance of surviving. Ummmm. So sad. I'm sure that one of the rules is not schlepping around excess weight around. Even if it's his mom's BFF.

Oooohhh, and Bill Murray is in the movie and he's funny and not weird funny. 

So go to Zombieland and tell me what you think. If you take me along, I'll buy the popcorn. 

I have tons of ammo, too.

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Bill Stankus said...

I was once in Zombieland, but it had a different name. I think it was called Las Vegas.

MaryRC said...

As a teen I went to every scary movie I could, every Zombie movie too. As I have aged, forget it. I've developed wimp-itis! If I went to see this movie now I'd pee the bed every night because I'd be too afraid to get up and go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. I speak from experience, The Grudge was the last scary movie I watched.

Housewife Savant said...

Mr. and I are going tonight. He's a fan o' killing zombies a la Call of Duty.
Those happen to be Nazi zombies, but any [ded] zombie is a good zombie so we'll take what we can get.
Bill Murray funny-not-weird-funny? I remember that from his old days. It sounds refreshing.

JennyMac said...

Vegas is like Zombieland...

and I will admit that long ago I did have a wee bit of a crush on eating frozen twinkies.

@eloh said...

Hey, I like your new set up here, looks good.

I took a "surviving a zombie apocalypse" quiz once. It didn't involve running, just hunkering down and waiting out the zombies to get killed off. I did okay. Needed the usual, access to food, water and ammo without venturing out.

I'll look forward to seeing Bill as his old self.

Lola Lakely said...

I'm going to tonight. I am so excited. I really almost had to convince myself out of buying the Zombie Survival Guide a few weeks ago.

Lurrrve the new look by the way!

Aunt Juicebox said...

I love the new look!
I am waiting to see this movie, I usually give new movies about 2 weeks or so before I go see them, and only during matinee hours at that. And only the ones I really really want to see, like Zombieland. Otherwise, I'm good with waiting til stuff comes out on dvd.

Jeanne said...

Love, love, love, love, LOVE the new look! So great! I got the teddy bear and hot tamale reference right away! I love it that I gave HHHT that nick!

I want to see Zombieland as do the chilluns. It'll have to wait, but we'll get there eventually. It looks hilarious.

Lola Lakely said...

Ok, so I just got back from seeing Z-Land. Loved it. Laughed all the way through. Best cameo ever and best rules ever.

Elliott said...

I need to see this, in fact I didn't finish reading the post because I want to be surprised.

However, batter-dipped, deep-fried Twinkies are THE way Twinkies were meant to be eaten.