Sunday, April 12, 2009

Famous Monsters of Filmland

The Cosmic Cowboy goes all Wild West. Fun. You have to watch both videos, especially the first one here to figure out just how nuts Billy Bob Thornton is. Poor Billy. He wants so badly to be a hillbilly but actually ends up being a Beverly Hills diva. I think all that butter and mud went to his head.

When you watch the video, you can almost see BBT go insane. I wish I could have been in his head. It might have sounded like this.

I’m going to show you. I fucking INSTRUCTED you not to talk about my acting. You want to talk about movies? Fine. I’ll go all bat shit on you. Talk freaking weird. Famous Monsters of Filmland. HAHAHA. I see you freaking out. I love it. I’m a fucking music historian, man. I’m going to mess with your head, you little shit. I’m going to show everyone what a dickhead you are. I am Tom Petty, man. No, wait, not what I meant. I am the great and powerful Billy Bob. When I tell you not to mention my acting you fucking better not mention my acting. I’m a fucking music HISTORIAN man. I am a MUSICIAN. I am so well known as a musician, made 8 albums, you don’t need to mention that I’ve won an Academy Award, written screen plays. Shit, man. I made a name for myself as a musician, not an actor. But that figures. You’re a Canadian. Mashed potatoes without gravy, man. Yeah, right. And, I can’t fucking smoke where I want to smoke man. White stripes. What’s with that crap?

Yes. Everyone needs to run out and buy the Boxmasters CDs right now. The Cosmic Cowboy needs to ride again.

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