Monday, April 27, 2009

Why Bathrooms Need Full Length Mirrors

When we were sitting around my mom's kitchen table telling stories, my mom joined in a with a story of her own. I had told my nephews the story of their dog and the other family dogs. We started telling funny stories and she piped in with a story of her own.

She said that she had gone to Costco to do some big shopping. She went to the bathroom first and shopped till she dropped. My mom had a knee replacement quite a few years ago and still hobbles along and uses a cane. If you ever spot a cute older woman with nice highlights in her hair with a cane in the eastern part of the Valley, be careful. She uses the cane like an extension of her arm swinging it this and that away. "Oh look, dear, isn't that cute? Look right there." And there goes the cane swinging wildly to point to whatever bright shiny object has captured her attention. I have told her she will need a wheelchair soon because I'm going to take that cane and commit a violent act with it. She laughs and thinks it's funny.

Anyway, she goes to the bathroom and then shops for a long time. In the line to pay, a lady comes up behind her to whisper in her ear, "I don't mean to embarrass you but you have a toilet seat cover stuck in your pants." My mom is so upset and says, "How come no one told me~!"

Okay. Confession time. I went out with my friend to a nice restaurant in town that has a nice bar, Penfolds Cattle Company. We went to the potty and as I came out to wash my hands, she started laughing and said that I had the seat cover stuck in my pants. Sigh. I have never done that one again.

I always give my ass a nice pat now when I leave the bathroom just in case. Of course, I am waiting for the day I leave with the toilet paper trailing behind me stuck to my shoe.


Jeanne said...

That is quite embarassing!

My friend Lynn was in an airport in Europe and it was very early in the morning for her as she was still on US time. She groggily went to the bathroom, did her thing and came out. She said people were staring at her and whispering, but she was so out of it it didn't really register in her mind. She walked up to her husband who told her that she had her skirt stuck into her underwear in the back. Oh so embarrassing! I too am extremely careful when I leave a bathroom, but when I enter, too. For some reason I have a history of accidentally walking into the men's bathroom. Once, in Chicago at the airport where I had been on a business trip, I walked into the men's bathroom and didn't even realize that I was there until I came out and saw the urinals! Luckily no one came in or out while I was there. And that has happened more than once.... hmmmmm.... ;p

Southern Sage said...

I don't have any stories but since I only ever go commando I quadruple check my zipper!

Happy Hour...Somewhere said...

I may have to go back into the post to add what made my mom's story truly funny to all of us was that was the THIRD time she had done that~! After number one, humiliation would make sure to never have that happen again. I had a friend who did that exact thing with her skirt stuck in her panty hose. She said the only saving grace was she was hot back then, so at least there was no snickering about thunder thighs~!

Sage-I do not get going commando. (Although it sounds sexy for sure.) I always think of that scene in "Something About Mary" with Ben Stiller and cringe~! Ah, my daughter's jeans are so low sometimes she says she goes commando. I keep telling her I did not raise her to have a crack problem or be a plumber. She doesn't think I'm funny. Moms. We are so MEAN.

Sass said...

Hey there. Stopping by from That Blue Yak.

I'm chuckling at how descriptive you's great! I'm picturing your mother wielding a cane like a pointer...and how horrifying to walk around with that stuck to your pants.


I'll be back! ;)

Dr Zibbs said...

I was at a party once and this chick walked though 3 rooms before realizing toilet paper was in her pants and still attached to the spool.

namaste said...

lol! how embarrassing! geez see how rotten people can be? how many looked and didn't say a word.