Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Out of Her League

"Underachieving, undereducated, overweight." Reality TV strikes again with "Wife Swap." There is a stage 4 smug alert in San Francisco. Noxious fume alert. Danger, danger. Where is Jeff Foxworthy when you need him? The following are quotes from the Wife and the Husband in this piece.

The Wife: If I'm too much with the kids, it does not suit my personality, and then I start getting grumpy.
The Husband: Coming from Europe, there are not too many places in the United States I could live. This city is unequivocally one of them. You've got the opera, you've got the symphony.
We are trying to raise our children as citizens of the world, not just citizens of this country.
The Wife: I am guessing we are not looking at advanced degrees here.
The Husband: Mid-westeners are so predictable.
I think the worst thing that James (his son) could do would be to tell me he wanted to move to Missouri.
Uneducated, simple, without a clue about what is going on in the world. You are undereducated, over opinionated, and you're overweight. It's not a good combination.
The Wife: No, I'm not a proud American. Because of the chance I was born an American soil. I mean, that's just the way it was. I had nothing to do with that personally.
The Husband: I didn't know you could read. The what? Agenda. Oh, that's a big word for you. Given that your two languages appear to be bad English and redneck.
I object to the National Anthem rule change because it is humiliating and objectionable. Unlike most Americans, I chose to become a citizen and I did this because I wanted more of a voice in helping set, influence the direction of this country because I really care about it.
Look, you dumb redneck, I've already told you.
Can I tell you my net take on this? Fascistic, militaristic...
Don't send any of your kids after me with a shotgun.
Its not every day she is going to come across someone like me.

BWAHAHAHA. Pompous, pin-headed, purveyor of putridness.


Jeanne said...

Ugh. This is one reality show from a self professed "reality show junkie" that I never watch. I can't stand it. It's too awkward and weird. But I LOVED "pompous, pin-headed, purveyor of putridness!" That totally rocked!

Happy Hour...Somewhere said...

He was so obnoxious. If you had not met someone like that before, it would be hard to believe he was real. I have a feeling that Michelle Obama is like this man and his wife. I hope I'm wrong, but she says the oddest things.