Monday, March 30, 2009
Daughter comes home from work with boyfriend today. They have been to Coldstone and have ice cream cones. Teddy has a giant waffle cone dipped in chocolate with, I think, cookie dough ice cream. Boyfriend (who wants to be called Killdozer. *sigh*) has gingerbread ice cream.
They sit on the couch and Teddy tells me in a chipper voice, "Killdozer says he hates me." He is going outside at this point to fetch the wiffle ball that got chucked over the fence somehow.
"How sad. What happened." I try not to overreact since she is looking like the cat who swallowed the canary.
At this point, Killdozer comes back into the room, and says, "Just a little bit." He is holding his index finger and thumb about an inch apart to show me just how little it is. "You know, I'm not gay but I understand how guys would want to hang out just with guys."
Well, now he really has my attention. What happened?
"What did she do?" I suppose it is unfair of me to immediately assume that Teddy Bear had somehow provoked him. What can I say? I used to tell the kids a fair is where men in overalls pitch cow shit and race pigs. Get over it. They used to get so bent about mom being unfair. (Is there a mom in the world whose middle name isn't Meany?)
Anyway, he tells me, "Girls are crazy." Teddy is giggling at this point so lord knows what torment she has just put him through. But it is now making more sense. She has a talent for driving him nuts. They bicker like an old married couple sometimes.
"I have to ask. If women are crazy, what are men."
"Men are stupid." He says it so matter of factly. Like, what's the big deal. Lord help them. They have to put up a tent when they go to Coachella. We tried to put it together in the backyard. Let's just say, the first good fart and that thing is coming down. But, it was refreshing to hear a guy say that they are stupid. And it was said with all sincerity, like he would rather be stupid than crazy. Sheesh. That's nuts.
So, in the battle of the sexes, it is Crazy vs. Stupid.