Sunday, March 29, 2009

There's A Crack in the Neutral Zone

Dr. F. Latus has invented a new gas neutralizing liner~! A new stocking stuffer for the man in your life. Okay, maybe a few women need it, too. No more malodorous noxious clouds emanating from the hineys of our loved ones. A pantiliner for flatulence. A gassy dream catcher.

Last night I met up with my baby brother, his wife JuJuBeez, and friends Phinelli. (I really need to come up with a name for them.) BB said that John from John and Ken on KFI found this new ad for Subtle Butt, the gas neutralizerr. Butt, I mean but, John loves to hear Terri-Rae Elmer say "Ewwwww" to all the gross things they discuss in the news, so he had an ulterior motive.

After consuming dinner, drinks, and the Mother Lode chocolate cake from Claim Jumpers, we probably all needed the Subtle Butt. Manelli said she needed it ASAP, so I suggested a hasty retreat outside to walk around.

We discussed what movies we would take to the proverbial desert island. JuJuBeez first said we could not take a series of movies, you know, like Lord of the Rings. All the geeks at the table cried foul. I told her that if she wanted to take the BBC mini-series of Pride and Prejudice that would count as one movie. I am not sure she relented but then she said she wanted a favorite old movie, a favorite comedy....Sheesh. Maybe we could all take one from each decade.

Then, of course, the women discussed which men they would want...and they could be men that had already passed away if we wanted~! Woohoo. I was crushed momentarily by the thought that so many of the men I wanted were actually the characters in movies, not the actor himself. Captain Jack Sparrow? Yes, oh yes, yes, please, PLEASE.... but not Johnny Depp. Aragorn from Lord of the Rings, but not Viggo Mortensen. I mean, I really don't want to hear what they think, I just want to play with them. What is the opposite of misogyny? If a man said this stuff, I guess I would get all huffy and offended. Maybe. But since I am quite sure if a man had a choice of any 5 women he could take to a desert island, I am positive I would not be on that list, so I can relax.

Off to dream about who the 5 men would be on my Island of Five...


Karen Carter said...

What a fun post! and glad to hear that you had such a fun night too.
What five men ...hmmm thats fun just to think about. But no matter how gorgeous, all men may need to subtle butt. That is too funny!
Have a happy sunday and I will keep reading about your tales. xoxo Karen~

Jeanne said...

Your first paragraph was absolutely hilarious!