Thursday, March 26, 2009

This Bunny Laid an Egg

The damn Easter Bunny has given my daugher a life-long fear of characters. She is 19 years old now and still will not go near a character. Mickey gives her hysterics, Pooh lives up to his name, and Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum cause fits.

When she was about 18 months old, I took her and her older sister, the Hot Tamale, to Sam's Club to do some shopping. She was happily riding in the cart and her older sister walked next to her. (They are about 5-1/2 years apart.) I had to go to the service counter for some reason I cannot for the life of me remember.

Teddy was standing in the cart next to me but I had my back to her. Her sister told me later what happened. All I heard was a blood curdling scream and turned around in time to see a 6 foot bunny rabbit jump back and rip his head off hyperventilating. (His character head. Although I did want to rip off his real one.) Dumb bunny.

Hot Tamale told me he was creeping up on us with his balloons in hand. I guess he thought it would be fun to sneak up on Teddy Bear and surprise her. Well, he certainly did that. She literally screamed like someone had pulled her head off. How does that much volume come out of something that little? She probably weighed all of 20 pounds. (She has always been a little thing with messy reddish hair.)

The Hot Tamale happily kicked him in the shins for scaring her little sister. It was not a pleasant sight. A tall purple bunny with no head, standing there, red-faced and sweating, and breathing like he was going to pass out. Poor Teddy. She was screaming so loud I had to grab my stuff and go.

So, all you mommies with the happy pictures of your kids with Mickey and Santa. Phhttt...pphhttt.... Shit. How do you make a raspberry sound.


Anonymous said...

Oh my gosh, Kat, that is so funny and sad at the same time! I can just imagine that scene: Bunny holding head under arm, small girl screaming, big girl kicking at him ... holy Toledo!

My daughter was a little like that, too. We took her to Disneyland for her 2nd b-day and promptly realized we were terrorizing her instead. When some of the characters came by (on Main Street, too -- we hadn't even made it all the way into the park), she started crying and trying to scramble up my husband like a tree trunk. We had to steer clear of Giant Chipmunk, Giant Mickey and Giant Pooh Bear ALL DAY. ...

Thanks for the funny!

Jeanne said...

I am happy and proud to have given the Hot Tamale her name! Yay, me! ;p

I do not like characters to this day. I was at some theme park - think it was Magic Mountain, and the three little pigs would not leave me alone. It was freaky. And I was an adult! Probably some pervert, because let's face it. I was hot back then. Or should I say "hoooooottttt" like Paris Hilton? Did you know I can program my cell phone to say anything and I programmed that in? We all laughed our butt's off at Dr Henninger's for a long time after that.

But I digress. What else is new?

Jeanne said...

Whoops. "Butt's" should be "butts."

Happy Hour...Somewhere said...

What did you program your phone to say? About 2 years ago, a bunch of us went to Vegas and on the way a friend programmed her phone to say "Big Dildo" when it rang. You know what they say about what happens in Vegas~!

Yes, you named her the Hot Tamale. I loved that name. I asked Teddy Bear and her boyfriend what I should call him in my blog. He wants to be called Killdozer. You Tube has the video of a man who went crackers in Colorado in the armor plated bulldozer and destroyed the town...and that's what he wants to be called. Sheesh. He is a musician for goodness sake. You would think it would have something to do with his guitar or heavy metal or something. Killdozer?!

You will have to post a picture of you when you were hoooooottt~! Even better, is there video of you being chased by the three little pigs? Hee, hee.

Happy Hour...Somewhere said...

Mizwrite--You totally reminded me of the time Teddy went to Sea World with her older sister and her boyfriend. At that time, Teddy had to be about 10. He was so surprised when Teddy CLIMBED up him like a tree to get away from the characters~! I have friends whose kids hide under the table when the bee at Home Town Buffet comes around. I guess my daughter is not alone in this~!

Jeanne said...

My phone says "You're sooooooooo hooootttttt" like Paris Hilton says it. But not when it rings. Just when I want it to talk. It's funny! I also made it say "Shut up - no you shut up!" because we said that a lot in the office, and it also says the abc's but it says them like it's a word, not the abc's. It's funny to hear how the computer in the phone thinks it should be said.